Daisy, always looking for the angles

Daisy: Dad.
Dad: Daisy.*
If you were a murder criminal, why wouldn't you just join the army?

* About 10 conversations a day start in exactly this way.

3/18/14

New guitar

2/8/14

Abe Lincoln's hat

Daisy: Dad. Who's your favorite president?

Dad: Abraham Lincoln. Who's yours? 

Daisy: Abe Lincoln. 

Dad: All right! 

Daisy: My life's dream is to wear his hat. 

Dad: I think I have a picture of you wearing his hat. 

Buster: Oh yeah! In the gift shop at Ford's Theater. 

Daisy: But that's not his real hat. 

Dad: Oh, you want to wear his actual hat? Like, we saw it in the Smithsonian? 

Daisy: Yeah. 

Dad: I think you need a new life's dream because I don't think they're gonna let you wear that one. 

Daisy: What if I got 90,000 dollars and bought it? 

Dad: I don't think the Smithsonian's in the business of selling stuff, and if they were I don't think that'd be enough.

Daisy: What if I got 5 billion dollars? 

Dad: I still don't think so, but if you got 5 billion dollars, that's what you'd spend it on? Buying Abe Lincoln's hat?

Daisy: Yes. 

Dad: I don't think that's a wise use of your fortune. 

Buster: Daisy, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my whole life. 

Daisy: I just really want that hat, Buster.

2/24/14
Photo 7/27/13

Happy Heaven or: Trouble with cursive

Buster: Can we get donuts?
Daisy: Ooh, can we go to Happy Heaven?
Dad: What's Happy Heaven?
Daisy: That place near your gym.
Mom: You mean Krispy Kreme?
Daisy: No, Happy Heaven.
Buster: Daisy, do you mean that place that's next to In-n-Out?
Daisy: Yeah!
Buster: That's Krispy Kreme.
Daisy: The sign says Happy Heaven.
Buster: Daisy, I guarantee: That place is called Krispy Kreme.
Daisy: Well, they should put it on the sign.

2/??/14

Absent-minded, or pointed, question

Buster has just cleverly answered a question Dad had posed.

Dad: Look at the big brain on Buster!
Daisy: What brain?

1/18/14
Photo 2/1/14

The end of a two-year era

Before:

 After:

1/20/14

Playin' it cool at Union Square

12/23/13

Daisy's restaurant, open on Christmas

Can I take your order?

Yes. I'd like a bowl of chili, a salad, some lemonade and a brick.

OK.

12/25/13

The very center of normality

Daisy: I think Elf is a little weird. I mean Buddy. 

Dad: I think he's pretty normal. He's a pretty normal guy. 

Daisy: No, he's weird.

Dad: Just like me. I'm a normal guy. 

Daisy: No, you're weird. 

Dad: Me?! I am the very center of normality. 

Daisy: What's normality? 

Dad: Think about normality. What do you think normality means?

Daisy: Normal.

Dad: That's right. The state of being normal. Like me.

Daisy: No, not like you. You're not normal. You're weird. 

Dad: Yeah, that's what Mom says. You guys are all wrong. Who's more normal than me? Name me one dad that you know that's more normal than me. 

Daisy: Chris. 

Dad: Who's Chris?

Daisy: M____'s dad. 

Dad: Oh, yeah. Well, he does seem pretty normal. But you don't know. You don't know him that well. You don't know what kind of weirdo he is when he's not around you. 

Daisy: But I do know what kind of weirdo YOU are!  

10/10/13

Blonder and blonder

Daisy: When are you going to go back to being a maroon?
Mom: What? I'm not a maroon.
Daisy: What's the word?
Mom: Do you mean brunette?
Daisy: Yeah!

12/16/13

Thinking ahead

Buster and Daisy are with Dad at the bank. They're seated, waiting for someone. Buster is playing a game on Dad's phone. Dad notices the dirty front of his hoodie. 

Dad: Why did you let me leave the house looking like this? Look how dirty my jacket is. 

Daisy: I don't care what you look like. 

Dad: You're supposed to be taking care of me. You know, someday—

Daisy: I know. When you're 80. 

Buster: (Not looking up from his game) Dibs on not doing that.

11/27/13

Freaky Friday, the sequel

We watched the "Freaky Friday" remake recently. Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan play a battling mother and daughter who magically switch bodies and have to live as each other. Lessons of empathy are learned.

We were all talking about it and joked about Buster and Dad switching identities like that. I grabbed Buster by the shoulders and shook the two of us, as though the transformation was happening. We kidded around as each other for about 30 seconds and then moved on. 

A while later, the "Freaky Friday" conversation having ended, I grabbed Daisy and fell onto the couch with her, squeezing her. She struggled to get away and I, holding her tight, pretended to be asleep. Daisy stopped struggling for a moment to consider my snoring. 

Daisy: OK, this one's definitely Dad. 

11/23/13

Buster analysis-izes the Sunday night game

Buster: Everybody's saying the Chiefs are so great, they're 9-0. They're going to beat the Broncos. Well listen. Look at their schedule. They've beaten a bunch of weak teams. Plus, Peyton Manning is way better than Alex Smith. 

Dad: Peyton Manning's better than everybody. That doesn't mean he wins every game. 

Buster: Shh! I'm analysis-ing.

11/17/13

Update: Buster was right. The Broncos won, and including that game, the Chiefs lost five of their last seven games.

Buster considers potential middle schools

[A certain school] looks good, but I think they focus a little too much on education.

11/2/13

Viewing habits explained

Dad: I'm going to watch this Civil War documentary.
Buster: Oh my God, how can you watch that? It's so boring.
Dad: [Haughtily] It's fascinating to me. I'm interested in my country's history.
Buster: It's not even a little bit interesting. It's so boring. I can't even watch it.
Dad: [Tenderly] That's because you're a moron.

10/6/13

Note to potential nannies and Child Protective Services: This may look harsh in text but in real life it was understood by all parties as a joke. 

Dad pays for some bragging and a poorly chosen metaphor

Dad: I don't look so bad. I'm 50 years old, man. I mean, imagine if you left a piece of cheese out on the counter for just a couple of days. It wouldn't look too good would it? I've been running around for 50 years! 

Daisy: The cheese would probably look better.

9/29/13

A brother-sister relationship, in one image

Cereal boxes carefully arranged so they can't see each other.

9/6/13

I do NOT want this to be educational

—Buster, on walking in to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History

7/25/13

I'm gonna file this away for when I need it

At the Smithsonian, Dad is in the middle of explaining something to Daisy about the Revolutionary War:

Dad: They [the British] were the most powerful country in the world back then, like we are now.
Daisy: We're the most powerful country in the world?
Dad: Yes.
Daisy: [To herself] Good to know.

7/26/13

What's he famous for?

Iris: Can you name the living presidents?
Daisy: Kennedy?
Buster: Kennedy!?! He's known for being dead!

7/25/13