Daisy I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico

Daisy: You know what I think humans should do? Make me emperor. 

Buster: Oh no. 

Daisy: Why not?

Buster: You’d make everything pink, you’d ban football, you’d …

Daisy: No I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want everyone to hate me, and everyone would. Well, not the smart people. 

Dad: OK, what’s your platform? What would you do if you were emperor? 

Daisy: If I were in Peru?

Buster: EMPEROR! Context clues, please!

Daisy: Oh, emperor. Um, I don’t know. I’d be nice to all the people. I’d, um … 

King: Why do you want to be emperor if you don’t know what you’d do if you were emperor?

Buster: This is why she shouldn’t be emperor.

6/1/15

Photo time - March 2014

 On our way to Hawaii, March 29.

Dining beachside at Waikiki.

 Working hard, March 30.

 Waiting patiently to go to the pool, March 31.

 We got tickets to a luau for sitting through a time-share sales pitch. Buster is very excited!

Daisy figures, "There's dancing. I'm in."

 Django drinking beer at St. Mary's Park (trick glass), March 8.

Django, Elvis and Buster.

Selfie, March 8.

 Belated 11th birthday party at K-1 Speed, March 2. 

 Reasonable possibility that this is Buster.

On the medals stand: Justin, Luis, Oliver.

A Berkeley pelican, March 1.

Buster and woody, March 1.

Daisy on the Mona Lisa

Daisy: It's not very good. There isn't much to think about.
Dad: People have been thinking about it for 500 years.
Daisy: Well they should stop thinking about it.

2/11/15

Photo is of Dad's version of the Mona Lisa, taken 10/27/12

Daisy tries to be a dad and not laugh

Dad explains to Daisy how to not laugh, like a dad.

Dad (serious): All you have to do ... 

Daisy: [Struggles not to laugh]

Dad: ... is think to yourself ...

Daisy: [Straining] Oieenga! 

Six minutes of laughing.

1/4/15

Photo time - February

Tough guy, Feb. 27

Red hair, Feb. 27

Freak! Feb. 16

With Grandma and Grandpa in front of San Francisco City Hall, Feb. 17

Photo time - January

 Cooking some eggs, Jan. 12

Dressed up for a tea party, Jan. 18 

Fierce, Jan. 25 

Birthday boy down on the drag, Jan. 29

Daisy and Daddy, Jan. 31 

Business guy Daisy

I look like a business guy because I have this jacket and I'm carrying this thing.
Let me take your picture. 
OK. How does a business guy stand?

6/10/14

Conversation on a Thursday

Daisy: Dad, do you ever think it's one day when really it's a different day?
Dad: You mean like when it's Tuesday and you think it's Monday?
Daisy: No, I mean it's Monday but you think it's Tuesday, because you're so excited about something that's going to happen on Tuesday.
Dad: Oh, yeah. It definitely happens that I'm wrong about what day it is sometimes, but what is it that you're excited about?
Daisy: I'm not excited about anything. I know what day it is.

5/22/14

These are the jokes, folks

Buster, Daisy and Dad have been telling jokes at dinner. Daisy likes to make up her own jokes. A sample: 

What did the steak say to the chicken? (I give up. What?) {Unintelligble fast talking} hola, hola, hola, hola!

Daisy: I have a joke! 

Dad: OK

Daisy: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? 

Buster: Your jokes.

4/24/14

Note: The actual punchline is "The Holocaust," though it's doubtful that's what Daisy was going to say.

Double shades, yo

Daisy: Daddy, take my picture and put it on your blog and write, "Double shades, yo."

We have achieved the Heisenberg effect.

8/8/14

Daisy, always looking for the angles

Daisy: Dad.
Dad: Daisy.*
If you were a murder criminal, why wouldn't you just join the army?

* About 10 conversations a day start in exactly this way.

3/18/14

Abe Lincoln's hat

Daisy: Dad. Who's your favorite president?

Dad: Abraham Lincoln. Who's yours? 

Daisy: Abe Lincoln. 

Dad: All right! 

Daisy: My life's dream is to wear his hat. 

Dad: I think I have a picture of you wearing his hat. 

Buster: Oh yeah! In the gift shop at Ford's Theater. 

Daisy: But that's not his real hat. 

Dad: Oh, you want to wear his actual hat? Like, we saw it in the Smithsonian? 

Daisy: Yeah. 

Dad: I think you need a new life's dream because I don't think they're gonna let you wear that one. 

Daisy: What if I got 90,000 dollars and bought it? 

Dad: I don't think the Smithsonian's in the business of selling stuff, and if they were I don't think that'd be enough.

Daisy: What if I got 5 billion dollars? 

Dad: I still don't think so, but if you got 5 billion dollars, that's what you'd spend it on? Buying Abe Lincoln's hat?

Daisy: Yes. 

Dad: I don't think that's a wise use of your fortune. 

Buster: Daisy, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my whole life. 

Daisy: I just really want that hat, Buster.

2/24/14
Photo 7/27/13

Happy Heaven or: Trouble with cursive

Buster: Can we get donuts?
Daisy: Ooh, can we go to Happy Heaven?
Dad: What's Happy Heaven?
Daisy: That place near your gym.
Mom: You mean Krispy Kreme?
Daisy: No, Happy Heaven.
Buster: Daisy, do you mean that place that's next to In-n-Out?
Daisy: Yeah!
Buster: That's Krispy Kreme.
Daisy: The sign says Happy Heaven.
Buster: Daisy, I guarantee: That place is called Krispy Kreme.
Daisy: Well, they should put it on the sign.

2/??/14

Absent-minded, or pointed, question

Buster has just cleverly answered a question Dad had posed.

Dad: Look at the big brain on Buster!
Daisy: What brain?

1/18/14
Photo 2/1/14

Daisy's restaurant, open on Christmas

Can I take your order?

Yes. I'd like a bowl of chili, a salad, some lemonade and a brick.

OK.

12/25/13

The very center of normality

Daisy: I think Elf is a little weird. I mean Buddy. 

Dad: I think he's pretty normal. He's a pretty normal guy. 

Daisy: No, he's weird.

Dad: Just like me. I'm a normal guy. 

Daisy: No, you're weird. 

Dad: Me?! I am the very center of normality. 

Daisy: What's normality? 

Dad: Think about normality. What do you think normality means?

Daisy: Normal.

Dad: That's right. The state of being normal. Like me.

Daisy: No, not like you. You're not normal. You're weird. 

Dad: Yeah, that's what Mom says. You guys are all wrong. Who's more normal than me? Name me one dad that you know that's more normal than me. 

Daisy: Chris. 

Dad: Who's Chris?

Daisy: M____'s dad. 

Dad: Oh, yeah. Well, he does seem pretty normal. But you don't know. You don't know him that well. You don't know what kind of weirdo he is when he's not around you. 

Daisy: But I do know what kind of weirdo YOU are!  

10/10/13

Blonder and blonder

Daisy: When are you going to go back to being a maroon?
Mom: What? I'm not a maroon.
Daisy: What's the word?
Mom: Do you mean brunette?
Daisy: Yeah!

12/16/13

Thinking ahead

Buster and Daisy are with Dad at the bank. They're seated, waiting for someone. Buster is playing a game on Dad's phone. Dad notices the dirty front of his hoodie. 

Dad: Why did you let me leave the house looking like this? Look how dirty my jacket is. 

Daisy: I don't care what you look like. 

Dad: You're supposed to be taking care of me. You know, someday—

Daisy: I know. When you're 80. 

Buster: (Not looking up from his game) Dibs on not doing that.

11/27/13

Freaky Friday, the sequel

We watched the "Freaky Friday" remake recently. Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan play a battling mother and daughter who magically switch bodies and have to live as each other. Lessons of empathy are learned.

We were all talking about it and joked about Buster and Dad switching identities like that. I grabbed Buster by the shoulders and shook the two of us, as though the transformation was happening. We kidded around as each other for about 30 seconds and then moved on. 

A while later, the "Freaky Friday" conversation having ended, I grabbed Daisy and fell onto the couch with her, squeezing her. She struggled to get away and I, holding her tight, pretended to be asleep. Daisy stopped struggling for a moment to consider my snoring. 

Daisy: OK, this one's definitely Dad. 

11/23/13

Dad pays for some bragging and a poorly chosen metaphor

Dad: I don't look so bad. I'm 50 years old, man. I mean, imagine if you left a piece of cheese out on the counter for just a couple of days. It wouldn't look too good would it? I've been running around for 50 years! 

Daisy: The cheese would probably look better.

9/29/13