Customer service

Here's some money, and here.
Oh, a credit card. Can I take this to the store?
Well, this is the store.
Oh, then I'd like to buy something.
OK.
I'd like to buy some gramupples.
We don't have any gramupples.
You don't have any gramupples?!
Well, we do. These are gramupples.
OK.
These are gramupples.
OK, I'd like some.
Well, actually, this is ChapStick.
Oh, you don't have gramupples, then?
No.
Oh. Well, do you have any whizzenpuffs?
No, we don't have any whizzenpuffs.
No, gramupples and no whizzenpuffs? What kind of outfit are you running here?
[Slowly, as to an idiot] This. Is. A. Store!

She bends over backwards

To take a cute picture. (S.F. ~5/3)

Tourists

On the cable car. We stayed at a flat in Noe Valley. Buster was really into the street cars, especially our home line, the J Church. One morning, we got on the J Church, rode it to Powell and Market, got on the cable car, rode it up to Fisherman's Wharf, bought Buster his own toy cable car, walked over ...

to Pier 39 to say hello to the sea lions --

or play with the new toy cable car, as the case may be, for a few minutes, then got on the F car and rode it down the Embarcadero and up Market to Church, where we got the J Church and went home. It was about a three and a half-hour trip, about three hours of it on public transportation, and we had a fabulous time. Who'da thunk.

Wha?

Some kind of baffling science thing at the Exploratorium. (~5/1)

Who's who

You're Daddy [to Mom], you're Buster [to Dad] and I'm the daddy.
You're the daddy?
Yeah!
[Whining] Pick me uuuuuup.
No, I'm too big. I'm not your daddy, I'm the monkey's daddy.

She's a real dish!

S.F., around May 1.

Superman

In San Francisco. (4/29)

Conversations with my kids' monkeys

Hi. I'm a monkey.
Hello, monkey.
I'm Curious George.
Oh, hi. I hear you're a good little monkey and always very curious.
Yeah, and my jungle is downstairs.
Is that where you live?
Yeah. My jungle is in the living room.
Oh, sure. That makes sense. It has a leopard rug.
And it has a train. But I can't play with the train.
Why not?
'Cause I'm a monkey.
Oh.
Monkeys don't play with trains.
What do they play with?
They play with soda.
With soda?
Yeah. They dump it out.
Why do they do that?
'Cause they're kinda silly.
I guess so.
Yeah. I'm kinda silly. And I love you. [Kiss.] 'Cause I'm a nice monkey.

Steps

Daisy takes a few at the marathon. (4/9)

She never spoke Spanish to me

Does Corrye talk Spanish to you?
Yes.
Do you know what it means when she talks in Spanish?
Yes.
What does she say?
She says "uno, dos, tres."
What does that mean in English?
[Slowly, as to an idiot] That's Spanish.

First

Time on a swing. Believe it or not. Buster had always refused to go on swings. Every time we were ever around swings, I asked if he wanted to go on them and he always said no. Until this day in Forest Park, where we'd gone to watch the St. Louis Marathon, when he said yes. And he had a fabulous time. He was 3 years, 2 months, 11 days old, and I submit he is the oldest American child of the 21st century to go on a swing for the first time. Can you dispute? (4/9)