Daisy I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico

Daisy: You know what I think humans should do? Make me emperor. 

Buster: Oh no. 

Daisy: Why not?

Buster: You’d make everything pink, you’d ban football, you’d …

Daisy: No I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want everyone to hate me, and everyone would. Well, not the smart people. 

Dad: OK, what’s your platform? What would you do if you were emperor? 

Daisy: If I were in Peru?

Buster: EMPEROR! Context clues, please!

Daisy: Oh, emperor. Um, I don’t know. I’d be nice to all the people. I’d, um … 

King: Why do you want to be emperor if you don’t know what you’d do if you were emperor?

Buster: This is why she shouldn’t be emperor.

6/1/15

Rage, rage ...

Dad's up early, watching TV. Buster emerges from sleep.

Buster: What are you watching?
Dad: Soccer.
Buster: Ugh. That just ... took the light out of my day.

3/1/15

War stories

Dad needs a subject for his next journalism blog post. Mom suggests he draw on his past for material. 

Mom: You can tell war stories from your days at the newspaper.

Buster: I've got some war stories. From second grade.

Battlefield photo, 11/9/10.

2/13/15

Photo time - March 2014

 On our way to Hawaii, March 29.

Dining beachside at Waikiki.

 Working hard, March 30.

 Waiting patiently to go to the pool, March 31.

 We got tickets to a luau for sitting through a time-share sales pitch. Buster is very excited!

Daisy figures, "There's dancing. I'm in."

 Django drinking beer at St. Mary's Park (trick glass), March 8.

Django, Elvis and Buster.

Selfie, March 8.

 Belated 11th birthday party at K-1 Speed, March 2. 

 Reasonable possibility that this is Buster.

On the medals stand: Justin, Luis, Oliver.

A Berkeley pelican, March 1.

Buster and woody, March 1.

Daisy on the Mona Lisa

Daisy: It's not very good. There isn't much to think about.
Dad: People have been thinking about it for 500 years.
Daisy: Well they should stop thinking about it.

2/11/15

Photo is of Dad's version of the Mona Lisa, taken 10/27/12

The definition of insanity

Buster: I've asked you a question 20 times and you haven't answered. 

Dad: And now you're going to ask it again. 

Buster: Yes. What's for dinner?

Dad: And you think that this time, you're going to get an answer? 

Buster: Yes. 

Dad: Do you know what Albert Einstein's definition of insanity was? 

Buster: No. What's for dinner? 

Dad: Would you like to hear what Albert Einstein's definition of insanity was? 

Buster: No. 

Dad: Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is—

Buster: I don't care!

Dad: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

Buster: That's nice. What's for dinner? 

1/24/15

Daisy tries to be a dad and not laugh

Dad explains to Daisy how to not laugh, like a dad.

Dad (serious): All you have to do ... 

Daisy: [Struggles not to laugh]

Dad: ... is think to yourself ...

Daisy: [Straining] Oieenga! 

Six minutes of laughing.

1/4/15

Photo time - February

Tough guy, Feb. 27

Red hair, Feb. 27

Freak! Feb. 16

With Grandma and Grandpa in front of San Francisco City Hall, Feb. 17

Photo time - January

 Cooking some eggs, Jan. 12

Dressed up for a tea party, Jan. 18 

Fierce, Jan. 25 

Birthday boy down on the drag, Jan. 29

Daisy and Daddy, Jan. 31 

Business guy Daisy

I look like a business guy because I have this jacket and I'm carrying this thing.
Let me take your picture. 
OK. How does a business guy stand?

6/10/14

Conversation on a Thursday

Daisy: Dad, do you ever think it's one day when really it's a different day?
Dad: You mean like when it's Tuesday and you think it's Monday?
Daisy: No, I mean it's Monday but you think it's Tuesday, because you're so excited about something that's going to happen on Tuesday.
Dad: Oh, yeah. It definitely happens that I'm wrong about what day it is sometimes, but what is it that you're excited about?
Daisy: I'm not excited about anything. I know what day it is.

5/22/14

These are the jokes, folks

Buster, Daisy and Dad have been telling jokes at dinner. Daisy likes to make up her own jokes. A sample: 

What did the steak say to the chicken? (I give up. What?) {Unintelligble fast talking} hola, hola, hola, hola!

Daisy: I have a joke! 

Dad: OK

Daisy: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? 

Buster: Your jokes.

4/24/14

Note: The actual punchline is "The Holocaust," though it's doubtful that's what Daisy was going to say.

Double shades, yo

Daisy: Daddy, take my picture and put it on your blog and write, "Double shades, yo."

We have achieved the Heisenberg effect.

8/8/14

How Buster learned about Lawn Darts

In a public restroom, Buster points to the automatic faucet, which turns the water on when it senses hands.

Buster: You know, this is the worst invention of all time.
Dad: Really? You think that's the worst invention ever?
Buster: Yes.
Dad: Oh, I can think of worse things.
Buster: I doubt it.

4/5/14

Daisy, always looking for the angles

Daisy: Dad.
Dad: Daisy.*
If you were a murder criminal, why wouldn't you just join the army?

* About 10 conversations a day start in exactly this way.

3/18/14

New guitar

2/8/14

Abe Lincoln's hat

Daisy: Dad. Who's your favorite president?

Dad: Abraham Lincoln. Who's yours? 

Daisy: Abe Lincoln. 

Dad: All right! 

Daisy: My life's dream is to wear his hat. 

Dad: I think I have a picture of you wearing his hat. 

Buster: Oh yeah! In the gift shop at Ford's Theater. 

Daisy: But that's not his real hat. 

Dad: Oh, you want to wear his actual hat? Like, we saw it in the Smithsonian? 

Daisy: Yeah. 

Dad: I think you need a new life's dream because I don't think they're gonna let you wear that one. 

Daisy: What if I got 90,000 dollars and bought it? 

Dad: I don't think the Smithsonian's in the business of selling stuff, and if they were I don't think that'd be enough.

Daisy: What if I got 5 billion dollars? 

Dad: I still don't think so, but if you got 5 billion dollars, that's what you'd spend it on? Buying Abe Lincoln's hat?

Daisy: Yes. 

Dad: I don't think that's a wise use of your fortune. 

Buster: Daisy, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my whole life. 

Daisy: I just really want that hat, Buster.

2/24/14
Photo 7/27/13

Happy Heaven or: Trouble with cursive

Buster: Can we get donuts?
Daisy: Ooh, can we go to Happy Heaven?
Dad: What's Happy Heaven?
Daisy: That place near your gym.
Mom: You mean Krispy Kreme?
Daisy: No, Happy Heaven.
Buster: Daisy, do you mean that place that's next to In-n-Out?
Daisy: Yeah!
Buster: That's Krispy Kreme.
Daisy: The sign says Happy Heaven.
Buster: Daisy, I guarantee: That place is called Krispy Kreme.
Daisy: Well, they should put it on the sign.

2/??/14

Absent-minded, or pointed, question

Buster has just cleverly answered a question Dad had posed.

Dad: Look at the big brain on Buster!
Daisy: What brain?

1/18/14
Photo 2/1/14

The end of a two-year era

Before:

 After:

1/20/14